thoughts on LIFE

I have never been the best at taking the things going on in my mind and putting them into words on a piece of paper. My mind moves too quickly.  There are some people that are really gifted by that, but sometimes it is just on my heart that I need to share some of my thoughts, and so here it goes.

There has been a lot going on lately, especially in my mind. There are a lot of people in my life dealing with illness and disease, and some facing death. There has also been so many friends finding out they are about to bring new life into the world. This has really just kind of hit me in the face lately. Life, that is. And how much we forget to live it. And through this I have begun to realize how much I have gotten my priorities messed up. I get so worked up about the petty things and I am too okay with waiting and putting things off. The fact of the matter is, life is short. We have been given a life to live and none of us know just how long it will be. But yet we live with this mentality that we will never die, we’ll just go on living day to day and never have to face death, until it comes and punches us in the face. But truthfully, we aren’t promised tomorrow. And that is really starting to make sense to me. Some get a bit of a heads up on how long they have left.  For others, it comes out of nowhere, an accident. Some watch others go through it, close family and friends.  Others haven’t had to experience that pain.  And some go through life without ever really thinking about it or being faced with it. 

Listening to the story of Ryan Woods has helped to teach me this. I have never had the chance to really be friends with Ryan, but we are acquaintances I would say.  However, I am close friends with so many people that have been deeply impacted by his life. Hearing them all share about their experiences and thanking him for the difference he has made in their lives, it is forcing me to think about how those differences were made. They were made by Ryan living life, and living life for Jesus. Which brings me to question myself and my life.  Why do I let days, weeks, go by without really living? Why put off doing that project I’ve had on my mind? Why avoid that conversation just because it’s uncomfortable, but that will ultimately end in a better relationship? Why not reach for my dreams now? I have just really been thinking about how I was happier at one point in my life, and why was that? I’m realizing it is because I lived more, I chased after things, I spent time with friends and family instead of complaining about minuscule things; thinking “woah is me” instead of getting up and going and changing what few things I can and then giving the rest up to God. And that is where I have really noticed a change in me, I don’t give things up to God as much as I used to, I don’t let him deal with the stress and the planning and the future. I try to do it and then I don’t have the energy or time to try to live life because I used it all trying to play God. 

So, I am going to challenge myself to change.  I am going to speak up instead of huffing off.  I am going to do things instead of laying in my bed and be sad about not doing anything. I am going to make friends and I am going to invest in them. I am going to be honest. I am going to love Jesus and try my best to love like Jesus. I am going to extend grace and give people second chances (I have never been good at that). I am going to listen to my emotions and be in touch with them. I am going to cry when I feel like it.  I am going to act, instead of waiting for others to take the lead. I am going to live life now because I am not promised tomorrow.  And I am going to let God take care of tomorrow.

And I am challenging you to do the same.

This is your life (Switchfoot)

This is your life and today is all you’ve got now

and today is all you’ll ever have

This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

from my walk while thinking these thoughts